As of late, I have been feeling rather lost in life; I have finally been able to pretty much balance my expenses for the past few months for the first time in years. Don’t get me wrong, this is of course an excellent thing but it has given me more time to think on other matters.
In order to cover my bills (some of which include repaying a loan for a pretty much redundant IT course), I am having to work two jobs for not a huge amount of money. Yes, again I am lucky to have a job let alone two but everything seems like a bit of a struggle for nothing. I wouldn’t mind as much if I could see a light at the end, however I just see the same tedium going on forever.
On more personal values, I appear to be changing my personality somehow. I’m unsure if it’s for better or worse as I both feel more myself in one job as well as trapped a little in the other. I also seem to have become a little more intolerant of people, which for the most part I believe to actually be respect for myself and values growing.
This all comes to the slightly rambling point of this posting: I shall write out a list of those things I have learned, shown interest in and also aspire to in some way. I feel this could be an exercise in identifying my skills as well as targets and inevitable flaws. As I write out this list, I shall make minimal effort to organise it in any over-processed manner as I feel it can be detrimental to the flow.
The List
I have always enjoyed figuring things out (a trait I am proud of sharing with my son). Be it how a maths equation balanced out or the more recent how things fit together in the development of an application idea, I have always loved the feeling of figuring something out. The problem I have with this in my aspirations to become a coder are that so many resources are flawed. This ranges from the software itself to more especially the tutorials made for learners who don’t know anything more than they are shown. It is the single most off-putting thing to come across whilst you’re trying to learn and you have to shoot off elsewhere to figure out how to fix the tutorial. Of course, that has it’s benefits of thinking a lil more but there’s a limit and as a total beginner you really can hit a wall trying to solve these matters.
I have taken on various sports-like activities in the past, possibly why in the past year I’ve been feeling so physically creaky through lack of regular vigorous exercise.
These have included:
Football – Yes, people who know me know I hate football but this was many a year ago
Basketball – For height reasons I think..
Swimming
Learning figure-skating – Briefly
Skateboarding
Running – Mainly running 15min to/from work but still!
Salsa-dancing – Loved it and want to go into other forms of dance
Personal interests have been:
Computers- Ranging from hardware repairs of all sorts (devices not components) to fiddling with various bits of software for many different uses on home computers (mainly A/V related, slight link to my music studies HND). Hence the shock it’s so hard for me to get my career in that area.
Singing – Really out of practice these days, slightly disappointed in myself for it but I do still enjoy it and find it an excellent form of expression as always.
Drumming – Used to own a drum-kit many years ago and loved playing so these days I keep it up best I can with my sticks on a rock band drum-kit. The rhythm’s there so it’s an adequate replacement without all the noise and space needed. Great exercise too!
General Recording/Editing – Something I’m a lil out of practice on these days but very much enjoy when I get the chance. Also one of the things I feel qualified enough in to use my talent of being able to spot when things seem right or wrong in a situation. It applies to many facets of life but this one specifically I found it useful, and one of the reasons I considered becoming a producer for a while. Not something I’m experienced in much these days or really want to do anymore.
Cabling – Various types of audio and video cables. I have tonnes of the stuff. Over the years, I have acquired all sorts of different connectors for a range of uses from watching TV through a PC monitor to connecting my microphones through my synthesizer, midi pad, and recording unit for my macbook. Not to mention all the setups for a multiple PC/Laptop/Amplifier/Consoles combination over the years. Maybe it’s heading back to my young need to figure things out and connect them up to find solutions to all sorts of puzzles.
Sorry it’s getting late, I’ll have to return to this list tomorrow once I’ve rested up.
TBC
